So late last night I received a text from Mr Your-Overthinking-It. Strike one - texting me late at night - when you are aware that someone a) has kids and b) has to get up early every morning, texting late at night is not going to get you off to a good start. The text thanked me for an awesome night, told me how busy his weekend at work had been and how he was still catching up on sleep and asked how things were going...
I did nothing when I got it. The noise of the phone had woken me up - it doubles as my alarm clock so I don't turn it off over night - and I was tired so just went back to sleep. This morning I thought about what to say as I milked the cow and feed the chickens and decided that I'd go with the part truth...
I replied that while I'd had a lovely night (and I did genuinely enjoy dinner while it was happening, it was only thinking back over the conversation that I picked up on the stuff that was out of whack) life was too short for me to spend time with people who thought the beliefs I base my life on are over thinking things and bitterness.
His reply to that made me laugh - "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. You are an amazing woman!" My first reaction? I don't need you to tell me I'm amazing!
I haven't replied again. Its not a discussion I want to get into and I don't have to get into it either. As I said to one of my friends - if I thought there was any chance he would at least attempt to get what I was saying (and the sex had been any good!) then it wouldn't have been such a big deal. But the complete disregard for any thought that we live in a patriarchy and that women might get a rough go meant it wasn't going any where. I know men who while I don't think they will ever get it as completely as a woman does (just as I can't know what it is like to live as a person of colour or a homosexual) they appreciate that they are in a position of power by default and that society reinforces their supposed superiority at all times - I know they exist!
I was proud of myself too - for the first time I had no qualms about telling a guy that I didn't want to see him anymore. I felt no need to justify myself, no guilt that I might be upsetting them. I have stayed with people in the past who I had little to no feeling for because I didn't want to upset them so this is a big step for me!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments are welcomed, healthy discussion is encouraged! Rudeness, misogyny and trolling will not be tolerated however. This is my space and I reserve the right to protect it.