Opps, is my feminism showing?

Following on from the articles I posted yesterday, various thoughts that have occured to me recently.
I tried online dating a while ago.  It was a bit of a disaster, living in a very small town and close to a small city the available pool was very small and I noticed a pattern happening.  The men I was talking to didn't really want  a strong woman.  They never came right out and said that, but used various back handed ways to get rid of me when I said something that demonstrated that strength. 

When I say I see myself as a strong woman I mean I am independent, capable, smart, confident and physically strong.  I know what I want from my life and I take steps to get it.  I live on a homestead and the fencing, cow milking and handling, pig handling, chicken handling fall mostly on myself and my female housemate.  Other chores like wood chopping, lawn mowing etc are shared between myself, my housemate and her husband.  I know how to build things and fix things.  I can look after myself and I don't need help.  If in the course of exchanging messages with men any of this came out - and I made no effort to hide who I am and what I do - then suddenly I'd be too outdoorsy, too busy, too...  feminist.  It became a good dickhead filter but sadly filtered out just about everybody. 

Which is why I like the interview I posted yesterday.  The question "what am I prepared to compromise on to have a relationship?" is one that comes up with every man I meet. 

I know what I want.  I want a pretty casual relationship.  I don't want or need a husband and my children don't need a father.  I have a busy life and limited amounts of energy and really it would just be nice to have company sometimes, someone just for me, and someone supportive.  It sounds pretty simple, but its the supportive bit that gets in the way.  Talk to men in general about feminism and they tend to get defensive.  Refuse to be a damsel in distress  and you are too strong. 

And these are things that I refuse to compromise on.  Feminism is the system that I build my life on, not some political viewpoint that can be changed.  Being able to support myself and do things for myself is a part of me, always has been and always will.  This doesn't mean I won't ask for help if I need it, but don't assume that I need help changing the oil in my car just because I have a vagina. 

This has all been a bit of a ramble, but I had to stop it banging around in my head somehow!  I'll leave it with another link. 

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/05/a-call-to-the-sacred-masculine-ten-daring-invitations-from-the-divine-feminine/